My cheeky little man!!

My cheeky little man!!

Thursday, 31 May 2012

Half term is coming in 10 days will I be smiling or screaming?!?!

So the dreaded half term is looming. One more day of school then 9 days off. We have one day of respite planned about a 5 hour session that day so a bit of a break. Its always a testing time in our house because of the change in routine for Ben and the fact that there are so many hours in a day (in Bens case around 18 hours awake a day). So all those hours and everywhere is so busy it makes it hard to find places to take Ben where he will cope. If you have a "normal" child or think back to your childhood where do you think a child would want to go?? Theme park/ museum/ park/ farm/ zoo/ seaside/ bowling/ cinema?!?! Now imagine you are six and busy places make you feel stressed and all the unpredictable stuff going on makes you want to scream and push your way out of the situation so you can have your own personal space back. So many people see that we take Ben places and then get upset when we turn down their invites to go places and do things. Its hard for other people to understand but when we go places it has to be planned down to every last possible eventuality and as his parents we have to be physically and emotionally prepared for the fall out after a change of routine and the difficulties we face afterwards. So just because one day we can cope with these problems doesnt mean we can another. I wish things were different and that we could do all these things I would love to do with my son but the reality is everything has to be made autism friendly or rather Ben friendly as although he is autistic he isnt the same as an autistic child you know or your friends brothers cousins friend. Autism may be one word but the way it affects every child is so very different and the way it affects any one child on any given day may be very variable to. Autism can be so unpredictable, so hard, and so very heartbreaking as a parent if you are not a parent of a child with autism you can only imagine how the rejection, difficulties and pain affect a parent of an autistic child.
So what do we have planned this half term. Mostly indoor/at home activities and going to quiet places. So while most people dont want a dull day that looks like it might rain at half term or a weekend its perfect for us as my first thought is if it means we can take my lovely boy somewhere which is normally busy so he can enjoy the kind of day out most children take for granted a day of fun stress free! Our plans consist of a water bomb game in the garden, planting seeds, crafts, writing letters, library trip,  jubilee fun day for ben and teddies, chalking the patio, baking, and making a time capsule amongst other things. I can't wait to have a lovely week with him, they might not be the most exciting things to do but Ben will enjoy them and I love to see him happy.
So, this half term may be stressful in some ways but I do know one thing, Ben is growing up and I love him to bits if I can make more memories of good times and try to cope with the bad then thats the best I can do as his mum. I want to be the best mum I can be, I might not always be tolerant when he hurts me but I am loving too and I have all these ideas in my head to try to give Ben the best life I can despite all his difficulties. If people dont understand that we put Ben first then they dont count Ben is my life he cant tell people what he can and cant cope with he relies on me and I am determined to do that to the best of my ability!
Half term starts tomorrow the next week or so of blog posts could go either way wish us luck :-) but my final thought, one that has been with me for years long before I had Ben is a phrase I once heard and is so true.
Happiness is not the absense of problems but the ability to deal with them

1 comment:

  1. I wish you all the best of luck with your half term break. Keep strong and trust that you *do* know best. :)